I'M RUNNING FOR PREZ

I HAVE DECIDED TO BECOME A WRITE-IN
CANDIDATE AND HERE IS MY PLATFORM:

(1) Press 1 for English is immediately banned.
English is the official language, speak it or wait
at the border until you can.

(2) We will immediately go into a two year
isolationist posture to straighten out the country's
attitude. NO imports, NO exports. We will use
the 'Wal-mart' policy of 'If we ain't got it, you
don't need it.'

(3) When imports are allowed, there will be a
100% import tax on it.

(4) All retired military personnel will be required
to man one of our many observation towers on
the southern border. (six month tour). They will
be under strict orders not to fire on
SOUTHBOUND aliens.

(5) Social security will immediately return to its
original state. If you didn't put nuttin in, you
ain't gettin nuttin out. The president nor any
other politician will not be able to touch it.

(6) Welfare - Checks will be handed out on
Fridays at the end of the 40 hour school week
and the successful completion of urinalysis
and a passing grade.

(7) Professional Athletes/Steroids - The FIRST
time you check positive, you're banned for life.
(it's SO simple, eh?)

(8) One export will be allowed, wheat, after all,
the world does need to eat. A bushel of wheat
will be the exact price of a barrel of oil.

(9) All foreign aid using American tax payer
money will immediately cease, and the saved
money will pay off the national debt and
ultimately lower taxes. When disasters occur
around the world, we'll ask the American
people if they want to donate to a disaster fund,
and each citizen can make the decision whether
it's a worthy cause. (and foreign countries can
help the U.S. when we have earthquakes,
hurricanes, tornados, etc.

(10) The Pledge ofAllegiance WILL be said every
day at school and every day in Congress.
The NationalAnthem will be played at all
appropriate ceremonies, sporting events,
outings, etc.

Sorry if I've stepped on anyone's toes but a
vote for me will get you better than what
you have, and better than what you're
gonna get!!
Thanks for listening, and remember to
write in my name on the ballot in November.
God bless America!!
Now -- who wants to be my VP ???
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