GOV. PALIN'S QUALIFICATIONS

Question: What is America's first line
of missile interceptor defense that protects
the entire United States?
Answer: 49th Missile Defense Battalion of
Alaska National Guard.

Question: What is the ONLY National Guard
unit on permanent active duty?
Answer: 49th Missile Defense Battalion of
Alaska National Guard

Question: Who is the Commander in Chief of
the 49th MissileDefense Battalion of Alaska
National Guard?
Answer: Governor Sarah Palin, Alaska

Question: What U.S. governor is routinely
briefed on highly classified military issues,
homeland security, and counter terrorism?
Answer: Governor Sarah Palin, Alaska

Question: What U.S. governor has a higher
classified security rating than either candidate
of the Democrat Party?
Answer: Governor Sarah Palin, Alaska.
According to the Washington Post, she first
met with McCain in February, but nobody
ever found out. This is a woman used to
keeping secrets. She can be entrusted with
our national security, because she already is.
Now you know too, please, pass it on!?
Commander....49th Missile Defense Battalion
of Alaska National Guard.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alaska_Army_National_Guard
#####

TEXAS BUMPER STICKER

TEXAS bumper sticker -- where else? LOL

I'll keep my freedom, my guns, and
my money --
YOU can keep "THE CHANGE"!!
Vote for McCain/Palin

JOHN AND SARAH -- the video

The John and Sarah Video

THIS IS too funny!!!!
my friend is one of the dancers in it.
and he reports... it actually got played
on CNN of all places!! lol

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CBZej5qSIwU


#####

THE UPDATED VERSION

TOO FUNNY....enjoy!!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GydaSdetbe8&eurl=

POLITICS AND PIANOS

"My choice early in life was either to be a
piano player in a whorehouse or a politician.
And to tell the truth, there's hardly any
difference.
I, for one, believe the piano player job to be
much more honorable than current politicians."
--Harry Truman

RE-DISTRIBUTING THE WEALTH

Yesterday on my way to lunch, I passed
one of the homeless guys in that area, with
a sign that read "Vote Obama, I need the money."
Once inside I noticed my waiter had on an
"Obama '08" tee shirt also. When the bill came,
I decided not to tip the waiter and explained
to him while he had given me exceptional
service, that his tee shirt made me feel he
obviously believes in Senator Obama's plan
to redistribute the wealth.
I told him I was going to redistribute his tip
to someone that I deemed more in need--the
homeless guy outside. He stood there in
disbelief and angrily stormed away. I went
outside, gave the homeless guy $3 and told
him to thank the waiter inside, as I had
decided he could use the money more.
The homeless guy looked at me in disbelief
but was genuinely grateful. As I got in my
truck, I realized this rather unscientific
redistribution experiment had left the
homeless guy quite happy for the money
he did not earn -- but the waiter was pretty
angry that I gave away the money he DID
earn.
Well, I guess this redistribution of wealth
is going to take a while to catch on with
those doing the work, eh? :-)
#####

IS THIS REALLY HIM??

RUT ROH.....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NmRXH7RkCZQ&NR=1

DO YOU WANT THIS???

Do we want a Vice President like THIS?

21 reasons why Gov. Sarah Palin Should
NOT be Vice-President of the United States:

1) She is a Woman.
2) She does not believe in killing babies,
born or unborn.
3) She is NOT endorsed by Susan Sarandon,
Jane Fonda, Rosie O'Donnell, Hillary Clinton,
Nancy Pelosi, Geraldine Ferraro, Barbara
Walters, Helen Thomas, Ellen Degeneres,
Ted Kennedy, Keith Olberman, Chris Matthews,
Barbra Streisand OR David Letterman.
(The Horror!! The Horror!!)
4) She is married to a Foreigner - a species
called 'Native American' - meaning her five
children are half-breeds.
5) She has, on more than one occasion,
expressed PRIDE in the United States of
America.
6) Unlike decent, self-respecting Democrats
everywhere, she has a 17-year-old daughter
who became pregnant out of wedlock.
7) She is a member of the American Riflemen's
Association ... actually owns firearms ... and
knows how to use them.
8) She has killed a moose, among other animals
- and spreads the propaganda that it is hunters,
through their license fees, that keep American
wildlife from becoming extinct.
9) She often does her own grocery and other
household shopping.
10) She drives a car, and flies a plane.
11) She chose to give birth to a defective
child, rather than allow a skilled abortion
Doctor to kill it for her.
12) She refuses to apologize for seeking the
termination of an Alaskan State Trooper just
because he applied a gentle taser to his
12-year-old stepson (who, of course, happened
to be Gov. Palin's nephew).
13) She is inexperienced. And she refuses to
admit that her duties as the chief executive
in the State of Alaska are nowhere near
equal to those of a public servant who was
once a community organizer, or that of a
United States Senator who has carried the
awesome burden of overseeing a staff of
political appointees -- for a burdensome
137 days!!
14) She has a son who is in the U.S. Military,
deployed to the Persian Gulf - probably
making her prejudiced against all the
peaceful Muslims in that part of the world.
15) She is on Oprah Winfrey's 'Do Not Invite'
list!!!! (dear God!!!)
16) She professes to be a Christian, but
has no 'Spiritual Adviser' - even though
Rev. Jeremiah Wright, who served Sen.
Obama in that capacity for 20 years, appears
to be available....
17) She isn't really a 'beauty queen,' as
advertised. She was only the runner-up in
the Miss Alaska Contest; and Alaska is not
a very populous state, anyway -- slim pickens....
18) The Obama-Biden ticket is favored over
McCain-Palin, 80% to 20%, by our friendly
allies in France.
19) Her children are not properly trained
in hygiene. (Did you see her 7-year-old
daughter shamelessly lick the entire palm
of her hand at the convention, then use it
to slick down the hair of her little brother?)
20) She is of mixed English, German, and
Irish ancestry - and you KNOW you can't
trust the Limey's, Krauts, or Micks.
21) Back to No. 1: This is the one that really
galls modern, liberal 'feminists.' Gov. Palin
is a Woman, a female-type wife and mother,
who shaves her legs, wears makeup, dresses
smartly, often cooks meals for her family,
doesn't give a hoot about the National
Organization for Women or the all-powerful
Teachers Unions - and obviously will never,
ever fit in as a member of the "Washington Elite".
Do we want a person like this to be the
Vice-President of the United States ?
HELL, YESSSS!! You bet we do!!! :-)
#####

THE FACTS OF LIFE

But the desire for free stuff is pandemic,
and Frosty Woodbridge at NewsWithViews.com
talks about this very point when he says that
“Our U.S. Senate along with Obama and
McCain protect the interests of 20 million
illegal aliens that take jobs from American
citizens!
Has either man EVER stepped up to stop
400,000 ANNUAL ILLEGAL alien anchor
babies and their mothers from sucking out
of the U.S. taxpayer’s pocket?
Even while 86 hospitals in California and
Arizona are bankrupted out of existence
because of millions of illegals using services
for free?”
(thanks to federal mandates!!)
#####

POLITICAL THEORY 101

"Political Correctness" is a doctrine,
fostered by a delusional, illogical minority,
and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous
mainstream media, which holds forth the
proposition that
"it is entirely possible to pick up a turd
by the clean end".
#####

POLITICAL STRAGEGY

Since President Bush currently has such a
low approval rating – why don’t we get
him – last minute, of course – to go on all
the networks and voice his support to elect
Barak Hussein Obama!

I bet McCain would win, for sure, by doing
that!
#####

THE BODIES

Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary, all with very big smiles on their faces.
The coroner calls the police to tell them what has happened.The Coroner tells the Inspector: "First body is a 72 year old Frenchman.He died of heart failure while with his mistress. Hence the enormous smile.""The second body is an Irishman, 25 years of age.
He won a thousand dollars on the lottery and spent it all on whisky.
Died of alcohol poisoning, hence the smile."The Inspector asked, "What of the third body?""Ah," says the coroner, "This is the most unusual one.
Nancy Pelosi, Speaker of the House, 66, struck by lightning.""Why is she smiling then?" inquires the Inspector."Thought she was having her picture taken."

CHICAGO

Just the facts, sir!
Body count. In the last six months,
Chicago - 292 killed (murdered)
Iraq - 221

Chicago is a combat zone. Who is in charge?
The leadership in Illinois. And they are:
Senator Barack Obama (Democrat)
Senator Dick Durbin (Democrat)
Representative Jesse Jackson Jr. (Democrat)
Governor. Rod Blogojevich (Democrat)
House leader Mike Madigan (Democrat)
Attorney. General Lisa Madigan (daughter of Mike),
(Democrat)
Mayor Richard M. Daley (son of former Mayor
Richard J. Daley) (Democrat)
And who is to blame? Of course they're all
blaming each other. Why? They can't blame
Republicans -- there aren't any!
The state pension fund is $44 Billion in debt,
worst in country.
Cook County (Chicago) Sales tax 10.25%
highest in country. (Look it up if you want).
Chicago school system -- one of the worst in
the country.
This is the political culture that Obama comes
from in Illinois. And he says he is going to 'fix'
Washington politics? LOL
#####

SARAH AND THE POPE

Sarah Palin is invited to meet with the Pope while he is vacationing in Venice. The liberal press reluctantly watches the semi-private audience, hoping they will be able to allot minimal coverage, if any.

The Pope asks Governor Palin to join him on a Gondola ride through the canals of Venice. They’re admiring the sights and agreeing on moral issues when, all of a sudden, the Pope’s hat (zucchetto) blows off his head and out into the water. The gondolier starts to reach for the Pontiff’s cap with his pole, but this move threatens to overturn the floating craft.

Sarah waves the tour guide off, saying, “Wait, wait. I’ll take care of this. Don’t worry.” She steps off the gondola onto the surface of the water and walks out to the Pope’s hat, bends over and picks it up. She walks back across the water to the gondola and steps aboard. She hands the hat to the Pope amid stunned silence.

The next morning, the headlines and topic of conversation among Democrats in Congress, CBS News, NBC News, ABC News, CNN, the New York Times, Hollywood celebrities, and in France and Germany is:

"“Palin Can't Swim!”"
#####

ILLEGAL ALIENS

From the MANITOBA HERALD, Canada :

The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration. The possibility of a McCain/Palin election is prompting the exodus among left-leaning citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray, and agree with Bill O'Reilly.

Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, animal rights activists, and Unitarians crossing their fields at night. “I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn,” said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield , whose acreage borders North Dakota . The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry. He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken. In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but the liberals scaled them. So he tried installing speakers that blare Rush Limbaugh across the fields.

'Not real effective,' he said. 'The liberals still got through, and Rush annoyed the cows so much they wouldn't give milk.'

Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, drive them across the border and leave them to fend for themselves. 'A lot of these people are not prepared for rugged conditions,' an Ontario border patrolman said. 'I found one carload without a drop of drinking water.' They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet, though.'

When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been circulating about the McCain administration establishing re-education camps in which liberals will be forced to shoot wolves from airplanes, deny evolution, and act out drills preparing them for the Rapture.

In recent days, liberals have turned to sometimes-ingenious ways of crossing the border. Some have taken to posing as senior citizens on bus trips to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen young vegans disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior-citizen passengers on Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney hits to prove they were alive in the '50s. 'If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we get suspicious about their age,' an official said.

Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating an organic-broccoli shortage and renting all the good Susan Sarandon movies. 'I feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can't support them,' an Ottawa resident said. 'How many art-history and English majors does one country need?'
#####

THE DIFFERENCE

Q: What’s the difference between a
pigeon and a Wall Street investment
banker?

A: The pigeon can still make a deposit
on a brand new Porsche.
#####

THANKSGIVING THOUGHT

Just think - if the Indians had given
the Pilgrim fathers a donkey instead
of a turkey --
we all would be having a piece of ass
for thanksgiving!!
#####

NOTES FROM HEAVEN

John McCain, Hillary Clinton, and Barack
Obama all die and go to heaven.
God looks down from his throne and asks
McCain, “Do you think you deserve to be
in heaven?”
McCain takes a breath and then replies,
“Well, I think so because I was a great
leader and tried to follow the words in
your Great Book.”
God looks down and then says, “You can
sit to my left side.”
So, McCain takes his seat and then God
asks the same question to Hillary,
“Do you think you deserve to be in
heaven?”
Hillary thinks for a second and then
replies, “I think so because I have been
fighting for the rights of so many people
for so long.”
God again looks down and this time says,
“You can sit to my right side.”
Finally God turns to Barack Obama and
asks, “Do you think you deserve to be in
heaven?”
Obama merely smiles and replies,
“I think you’re in my seat.....”
#####

BUBBA AND THE GUV'MINT

Down south, Bubba called his attorney and
asked, 'Is it true theys suin' them cigarette
companies fer causing people to git cancer?'
'Yes, Bubba, sure is true,' responded the lawyer.
'And now someone is suin them fast food
restaurants Fer makin them fat and cloggin'
their arteries with all them burgers an fries,
is that true, Mista Lawyer?'
'Sure is, Bubba.'
'And that lady sued McDonalds for millions
when she was gave that hot coffee that she
ordered?'
'Yep.'
'And that football player sued that university
when he gradiated and still couldn't read?'
'That's right,' said the lawyer.'
'But why are you asking?'
'Well, I was thinkin . ..
What I want to know is, kin I sue Budweiser
fer all them ugly women I slept with?'
#####

THE DIFFERENCE

On television today, a Democratic operative
pointed out that when Obama holds a rally
25-30,000 people show up -- whereas when
McCain holds one he only draws 10-15,000.

The Republican spokesman replied,
'That's understandable...most of McCain's
supporters are at work.....'
#####

CAMPAINING IN TEXAS

I don't care who you are or what you believe in,
this is funny!!

Barack Obama, the lead Presidential Democratic
Party candidate, is for banning all guns in America.
He is considered by those who have dealt with
him as a bit more than just a little self-righteous.
At a recent rural elementary school assembly in
East Texas, he asked the audience for total quiet.
Then, in the silence, he started to slowly clap his
hands once every few seconds, holding the
audience in total silence.
Then he said into the microphone,
'Children, every time I clap my hands together,
a child in America dies from gun violence.'
Then, little Richard Earl, with a proud
East Texas drawl, pierced the quiet and said:
''Well, dumb-ass, stop clapping!!'
#####

PARKING TICKET STORY

Maybe we should all try things like this!!
The other day I went downtown to run a few
errands. I went into the local coffee shop for
a snack. I was only there for about 5 minutes.
When I came out, there was this cop writing
out a parking ticket.
I said to him, 'Come on, man, how about
giving a retired person a break?'
He ignored me and continued writing the
ticket. His insensitivity annoyed me, so I
called him a 'Nazi.' He glared at me and then
wrote out another ticket for having worn tires.
So I proceeded to call him 'doughnut eating
Gestapo.' He finished the second ticket and
put it on the windshield with the first.
Then he wrote a third ticket when I called him
a moron in blue. This went on for about 20
minutes. The more I talked back to him the
more tickets he wrote.
Personally, I didn't really care. I came
downtown on the bus. The car that he was
putting the tickets on had one of those
bumper stickers that said, "McCain in '08".
I try to have a little fun each day now that
I'm retired. The doctor tells me that it's
important to my health!!
#####

HOW THE SENATE VOTED

THIS IS THE COMPLETE LIST OF HOW
the senate voted on the bailout bill....
remember this at election time!!!!!

NEVER VOTE FOR AN INCUMBANT!!!!

http://www.politico.com/news/stories/1008/14196.html

POLITICS EXPLAINED

THIS IS A NON-PARTISAN JOKE,
THAT CAN BE ENJOYED BY BOTH PARTIES!

While walking down the street one day a US
senator is tragically hit by atruck and dies.
His soul arrives in heaven and is met by
St. Peter at the entrance.
'Welcome to heaven,' says St. Peter...
'Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem.
We seldom see a high official around these
parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do
with you.'
'No problem, just let me in,' says the senator.
'Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher
up. What we'll do is have you spend one day
in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose
where to spend eternity.'
'Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in
heaven,' says the senator.
'I'm sorry, but we have our rules.'
And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator
and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors
open and he finds himself in the middle of a
green golf course. In the distance is a club house
and standing in front of it are all his friends and
other politicians who had worked with him.
Everyone is very happy and in evening dress.
They run to greet him, shake his hand, and
reminisce about the good times they had while
getting rich at the expense of the people.
They play a friendly game of golf and then dine
on lobster, caviar and champagne.
Also present is the devil, who really is a very
friendly guy who has agood time dancing and
telling jokes. They are having such a good time
that before he realizes it, it is time to go.
Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves
while the elevator rises. The elevator goes up,
up, up and the door re-opens on heaven where
St. Peter is waiting for him.
'Now it's time to visit heaven.'
So, 24 hours pass with the senator joining a
group of contented souls moving from cloud
to cloud, playing the harp and singing.
They have a good time and, before he realizes
it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter
returns.
'Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and
another in heaven. Now choose your eternity.'
The senator reflects for a minute, then answers:
'Well, I would never have said it before, I mean
heaven has been delightful, but I think I would
be better off in hell.'
So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he
goes down, down, down to hell.
Now the doors of the elevator open and he's
in the middle of a barren land covered with
waste and garbage. He sees all his friends,
dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting
it in black bags as more trash falls from above....
The devil comes over to him and puts his arm
around his shoulder.
'I don'tunderstand,' stammers the senator.
'Yesterday I was here and there was a golf
course and club house, and we ate lobster
and caviar, drank champagne,and danced
and had a great time. Now there's just a
wasteland full of garbage and my friends
look miserable. What happened??'
The devil looks at him, smiles and says.....
'Yesterday we were campaigning.
Today you voted!!
#####