The Secretary of Defense briefed the president
this morning. he told Bush that three brazillian
soliders had been killed in iraq.
to everyone's amazement, all the color ran
from Bush's face, visibly shaken.
finally he composed himself and asked:
"just exactly how many IS a bazillion??"
#####
no caption necessary
our heroes.....
.... and GOOD riddance!!
time to CLEAN HOUSE!!
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Saturday, August 30, 2008
MID-EAST NEWS
A New Threat --
This morning, from a cave somewhere
in Pakistan , Taliban Minister of Migration,
Mohammed Omar, warned the United States
that if military action against Iraq continues,
Taliban authorities will cut off America's
supply of convenience store managers, and
possible candidates for President of the
United States.
And if this action does not yield sufficient
results, cab drivers will be next, followed by
DELL and AOL customer service reps,
and then Motel 6 managers!!
It's getting ugly.....
#####
This morning, from a cave somewhere
in Pakistan , Taliban Minister of Migration,
Mohammed Omar, warned the United States
that if military action against Iraq continues,
Taliban authorities will cut off America's
supply of convenience store managers, and
possible candidates for President of the
United States.
And if this action does not yield sufficient
results, cab drivers will be next, followed by
DELL and AOL customer service reps,
and then Motel 6 managers!!
It's getting ugly.....
#####
Friday, August 29, 2008
GOVERNMENT HELP
A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his
herd in a remote mountainous pasture in
California when suddenly a brand-new
BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards
him.
The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit,
Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL
tie, leans out the window and asks the
cowboy,
"If I tell you exactly how many cows and
calves you have in your herd, will you give
me a calf?"
Bud looks at the man, obviously a yuppie,
then looks at his peacefully grazing herd
and calmly answers,
"Sure, Why not?"
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell
notebook computer,connects it to his Cingular
RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page
on the internet, where he calls up a GPS
satellite to get an exact fix on his location which
he then feeds to another NASA satellite that
scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution
photo. The young man then opens the digital
photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to
an image processing facility in Hamburg,
Germany.
Within seconds, he receives an email on his
Palm Pilot that the image has been processed
and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL
database through an ODBC connected Excel
spreadsheet with e-mail on his Blackberry and,
after a few minutes, receives a response.
Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page
report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet
printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says,
"You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."
"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of
my calves," says Bud.
He watches the young man select one of the
animals and looks on amused as the young man
stuffs it into the trunk of his car.
Then Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can
tell you exactly what your business is, will you
give me back my calf?"
The young man thinks about it for a second and
then says, "Okay, why not?"
"You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government",
says Bud.
"Wow! That's correct, " says the yuppie, "but how
did you guess that?"
"No guessing required." answered the cowboy.
"You showed up here even though nobody called
you; you want to get paid for an answer I already
knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to
show me how much smarter you are than i am,
and you don't know a thing about cows...
this is a herd of sheep. . . Now give me back my
dog!!"
#####
herd in a remote mountainous pasture in
California when suddenly a brand-new
BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards
him.
The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit,
Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL
tie, leans out the window and asks the
cowboy,
"If I tell you exactly how many cows and
calves you have in your herd, will you give
me a calf?"
Bud looks at the man, obviously a yuppie,
then looks at his peacefully grazing herd
and calmly answers,
"Sure, Why not?"
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell
notebook computer,connects it to his Cingular
RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page
on the internet, where he calls up a GPS
satellite to get an exact fix on his location which
he then feeds to another NASA satellite that
scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution
photo. The young man then opens the digital
photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to
an image processing facility in Hamburg,
Germany.
Within seconds, he receives an email on his
Palm Pilot that the image has been processed
and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL
database through an ODBC connected Excel
spreadsheet with e-mail on his Blackberry and,
after a few minutes, receives a response.
Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page
report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet
printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says,
"You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."
"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of
my calves," says Bud.
He watches the young man select one of the
animals and looks on amused as the young man
stuffs it into the trunk of his car.
Then Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can
tell you exactly what your business is, will you
give me back my calf?"
The young man thinks about it for a second and
then says, "Okay, why not?"
"You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government",
says Bud.
"Wow! That's correct, " says the yuppie, "but how
did you guess that?"
"No guessing required." answered the cowboy.
"You showed up here even though nobody called
you; you want to get paid for an answer I already
knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to
show me how much smarter you are than i am,
and you don't know a thing about cows...
this is a herd of sheep. . . Now give me back my
dog!!"
#####
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
CONVENTION SCHEDULE
Agenda for the 2008 Democratic
National Convention
(Just Released)
7:00 pm Opening flag burning
7:15 pm Pledge of Allegiance - (in Spanish)
7:20 pm Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
7:25 pm Non-religious prayer and worship
with Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpton
7:45 pm Ceremonial tree hugging
7:55 pm Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
8:00 pm How I Invented the Internet - Al Gore
8:15 pm Gay Wedding - Barney Frank presiding
8:35 pm Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
8:40 pm Our Troops are War Criminals -
John Kerry
9.00 pm Saddam Memorial Rally - Cindy
Sheehan and Susan Sarandon
11.00 pm Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
11:05 pm Collection for the Osama Bin Laden
kidney transplant fund - Barbara Streisand
11:15 pm Free the Freedom Fighters from
Guantanamo Bay - Sean Penn
11:30 pm Oval Office Affairs - William Jefferson
Clinton
11:45 pm Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
11:50 pm How George Bush Brought Down
the World Trade Towers - Howard Dean
& Rosie O'Donnell
12:15 am "Truth in Broadcasting Award" -
Presented to Dan Rather by Michael Moore
12:25 am Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
12:30 am Satellite address by Mahmoud
Ahmadinejad
12:45 am V-P Nomination by Nancy Pelosi
12:50 am Speech and toast by Hugo Chavez
to the departure of "the Great Satan",
G.'W.' Bush
12:55 am Hillary proposes a toast to our 89
million new Democratic Mexican voters
1:00 am Ted Kennedy proposes a toast to
the extinction of the Republican Party.
1:05 am Coronation of B.H.O. with his hand
on the Koran
1:30 am Ted Kennedy proposes a toast,
what a surprise!
1:35 am Bill Clinton asks Ted Kennedy to
drive Hillary home.
#####
National Convention
(Just Released)
7:00 pm Opening flag burning
7:15 pm Pledge of Allegiance - (in Spanish)
7:20 pm Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
7:25 pm Non-religious prayer and worship
with Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpton
7:45 pm Ceremonial tree hugging
7:55 pm Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
8:00 pm How I Invented the Internet - Al Gore
8:15 pm Gay Wedding - Barney Frank presiding
8:35 pm Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
8:40 pm Our Troops are War Criminals -
John Kerry
9.00 pm Saddam Memorial Rally - Cindy
Sheehan and Susan Sarandon
11.00 pm Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
11:05 pm Collection for the Osama Bin Laden
kidney transplant fund - Barbara Streisand
11:15 pm Free the Freedom Fighters from
Guantanamo Bay - Sean Penn
11:30 pm Oval Office Affairs - William Jefferson
Clinton
11:45 pm Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
11:50 pm How George Bush Brought Down
the World Trade Towers - Howard Dean
& Rosie O'Donnell
12:15 am "Truth in Broadcasting Award" -
Presented to Dan Rather by Michael Moore
12:25 am Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
12:30 am Satellite address by Mahmoud
Ahmadinejad
12:45 am V-P Nomination by Nancy Pelosi
12:50 am Speech and toast by Hugo Chavez
to the departure of "the Great Satan",
G.'W.' Bush
12:55 am Hillary proposes a toast to our 89
million new Democratic Mexican voters
1:00 am Ted Kennedy proposes a toast to
the extinction of the Republican Party.
1:05 am Coronation of B.H.O. with his hand
on the Koran
1:30 am Ted Kennedy proposes a toast,
what a surprise!
1:35 am Bill Clinton asks Ted Kennedy to
drive Hillary home.
#####
Saturday, August 23, 2008
POSITIVE OUTLOOK
HOW TO START EACH DAY WITH
A POSITIVE OUTLOOK --
1. Open a new file in your computer.
2. Name it 'Barack Obama'.
3. Send it to the Recycle Bin.
4. Empty the Recycle Bin.
5. Your PC will ask you:
'Do you really want to get rid of 'Barack Obama?'
6. Firmly Click 'Yes!'
7. Feel better?
GOOD! - Tomorrow we'll do Nancy Pelosi!!
#####
A POSITIVE OUTLOOK --
1. Open a new file in your computer.
2. Name it 'Barack Obama'.
3. Send it to the Recycle Bin.
4. Empty the Recycle Bin.
5. Your PC will ask you:
'Do you really want to get rid of 'Barack Obama?'
6. Firmly Click 'Yes!'
7. Feel better?
GOOD! - Tomorrow we'll do Nancy Pelosi!!
#####
GOVERNMENT AIRLINES, INC.
NEW AIRLINE RULES
Attendant: Welcome aboard Ala Carte Air, sir.
May I see your ticket?
Passenger: Sure.
Attendant: You're in seat 12B.
That will be $5, please!
Passenger: What for?
Attendant: For telling you where to sit.
Passenger: But I already knew where to sit.
Attendant: Nevertheless, we are now
charging a seat locator fee of $5.
It's the airline's new policy.
Passenger: That's the craziest thing I
ever heard. I won't pay it.
Attendant: Sir, do you want a seat on this
flight, or not?
Passenger: Yes, yes. All right, I'll pay. But
the airline is going to hear about this.
Attendant: Thank you. My goodness,
your carry-on bag looks heavy.
Would you like me to stow it in the
overhead compartment for you?
Passenger: That would be swell, thanks.
Attendant: No problem. Up we go, and done!
That will be $10, please.
Passenger: What?
Attendant: The airline now charges a $10
carry-on assistance fee.
Passenger: This is extortion. I won't stand
for it.
Attendant: Actually, you're right, you can't
stand. You need to sit, and fasten your seat
belt. We're about to push back from the
gate. But, first I need that $10.
Passenger: No way!
Attendant: Sir, if you don't comply, I will
be forced to call the air marshal.
And you really don't want me to do that.
Passenger: Why not? Is he going to shoot
me?
Attendant: No, but there's a $50 air-marshal
hailing fee.
Passenger: Oh, all right, here, take the $10.
I can't believe this.
Attendant: Thank you for your cooperation,
sir. Is there anything else I can do for you?
Passenger: Yes. It's stuffy in here, and my
overhead fan doesn't seem to work. Can you
fix it?
Attendant: Your overhead fan is not broken,
sir. Just insert two quarters into the
overhead coin slot for the first five minutes.
Passenger: The airline is charging me for
cabin air?
Attendant: Of course not, sir. Stagnant cabin
air is provided free of charge.
It's the circulating air that costs 50 cents.
Passenger: I don't have any quarters. Can
you make change for a dollar?
Attendant: Certainly, sir! Here you go!
Passenger: But you've given me only three
quarters for my dollar.
Attendant: Yes, there's a change making
fee of 25 cents.
Passenger: For cryin' out loud. All I have
left is a lousy quarter?
What the heck can I do with this?
Attendant: Hang onto it. You'll need it
later for the lavatory!!
#####
Attendant: Welcome aboard Ala Carte Air, sir.
May I see your ticket?
Passenger: Sure.
Attendant: You're in seat 12B.
That will be $5, please!
Passenger: What for?
Attendant: For telling you where to sit.
Passenger: But I already knew where to sit.
Attendant: Nevertheless, we are now
charging a seat locator fee of $5.
It's the airline's new policy.
Passenger: That's the craziest thing I
ever heard. I won't pay it.
Attendant: Sir, do you want a seat on this
flight, or not?
Passenger: Yes, yes. All right, I'll pay. But
the airline is going to hear about this.
Attendant: Thank you. My goodness,
your carry-on bag looks heavy.
Would you like me to stow it in the
overhead compartment for you?
Passenger: That would be swell, thanks.
Attendant: No problem. Up we go, and done!
That will be $10, please.
Passenger: What?
Attendant: The airline now charges a $10
carry-on assistance fee.
Passenger: This is extortion. I won't stand
for it.
Attendant: Actually, you're right, you can't
stand. You need to sit, and fasten your seat
belt. We're about to push back from the
gate. But, first I need that $10.
Passenger: No way!
Attendant: Sir, if you don't comply, I will
be forced to call the air marshal.
And you really don't want me to do that.
Passenger: Why not? Is he going to shoot
me?
Attendant: No, but there's a $50 air-marshal
hailing fee.
Passenger: Oh, all right, here, take the $10.
I can't believe this.
Attendant: Thank you for your cooperation,
sir. Is there anything else I can do for you?
Passenger: Yes. It's stuffy in here, and my
overhead fan doesn't seem to work. Can you
fix it?
Attendant: Your overhead fan is not broken,
sir. Just insert two quarters into the
overhead coin slot for the first five minutes.
Passenger: The airline is charging me for
cabin air?
Attendant: Of course not, sir. Stagnant cabin
air is provided free of charge.
It's the circulating air that costs 50 cents.
Passenger: I don't have any quarters. Can
you make change for a dollar?
Attendant: Certainly, sir! Here you go!
Passenger: But you've given me only three
quarters for my dollar.
Attendant: Yes, there's a change making
fee of 25 cents.
Passenger: For cryin' out loud. All I have
left is a lousy quarter?
What the heck can I do with this?
Attendant: Hang onto it. You'll need it
later for the lavatory!!
#####
Thursday, August 21, 2008
YOUR GOVERNMENT AT WORK
Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a
North Carolina mountain man, was
drafted by the Army.
On his first day in basic training, the
Army issued him a comb.
That afternoon the Army barber shaved off
all his hair. On his second day, the Army
issued Herman a toothbrush.
That afternoon the Army dentist yanked
seven of his teeth.
On the third day, the Army issued him a
jock strap.
The Army has been looking for Herman
for 51 years.
#####
North Carolina mountain man, was
drafted by the Army.
On his first day in basic training, the
Army issued him a comb.
That afternoon the Army barber shaved off
all his hair. On his second day, the Army
issued Herman a toothbrush.
That afternoon the Army dentist yanked
seven of his teeth.
On the third day, the Army issued him a
jock strap.
The Army has been looking for Herman
for 51 years.
#####
LITTLE GIRL IN THE GARDEN
A father watched his young daughter playing
in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how
sweet and pure his little girl was. Tears formed
in his eyes as he thought about her seeing the
wonders of nature.
Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the
ground. He went over to her to see what work
of God had captured her attention. He noticed
she was looking at two spiders mating.
'Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?'
she asked.
'They're mating,' her father replied.
'What do you call the spider on top?' she asked.
'That's a Daddy Longlegs,' her father answered.
'So, the other one is a Mommy Longlegs?' the
little girl asked.
As his heart soared with the joy of such a cute
and innocent question he replied
'No dear. Both of them are Daddy Longlegs.'
The little girl, looking a little puzzled, thought
for a moment, then took her foot and stomped
them flat, saying
'Well, we're not having any of that Brokeback
Mountain shit in OUR garden!!'
Brings a tear to your eye... doesn't it?
#####
in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how
sweet and pure his little girl was. Tears formed
in his eyes as he thought about her seeing the
wonders of nature.
Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the
ground. He went over to her to see what work
of God had captured her attention. He noticed
she was looking at two spiders mating.
'Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?'
she asked.
'They're mating,' her father replied.
'What do you call the spider on top?' she asked.
'That's a Daddy Longlegs,' her father answered.
'So, the other one is a Mommy Longlegs?' the
little girl asked.
As his heart soared with the joy of such a cute
and innocent question he replied
'No dear. Both of them are Daddy Longlegs.'
The little girl, looking a little puzzled, thought
for a moment, then took her foot and stomped
them flat, saying
'Well, we're not having any of that Brokeback
Mountain shit in OUR garden!!'
Brings a tear to your eye... doesn't it?
#####
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
VOTE CAREFULLY
One day a florist goes to a barber for a
haircut.
After the haircut he asked about his bill
and the barber replies,
"I cannot accept money from you -- I'm doing
community service this week."
The florist was pleased and left the shop.
When the barber goes to open his shop the
next morning there is a 'thank you' card and
a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.
Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when
he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replies,
"I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing
community service this week."
The cop is happy and leaves the shop.
The next morning when the barber goes to
open up there is a 'thank you' card and a
dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.
Later that day, a college professor comes in
for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill,
the barber again replies, "I cannot accept
money from you. I'm doing community service
this week. " The professor is very happy and
leaves the shop. The next morning when the
barber opens his shop, there is a 'thank you'
card and a dozen different books, such as
'How to Improve Your Business' and 'Becoming
More Successful.'
Then, a Congressman comes in for a haircut,
and when he goes to pay his bill the barber
again replies, "I cannot accept money from
you. I'm doing community service this week."
The Congressman is very happy and leaves the
shop. The next morning when the barber goes
to open up, there are a dozen Congressmen
lined up waiting for a free haircut!!
--And that, my friends, illustrates the
fundamental difference between the
PRODUCTIVE citizens of our country and
the members of our Congress--
Vote very carefully this year....
#####
haircut.
After the haircut he asked about his bill
and the barber replies,
"I cannot accept money from you -- I'm doing
community service this week."
The florist was pleased and left the shop.
When the barber goes to open his shop the
next morning there is a 'thank you' card and
a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.
Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when
he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replies,
"I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing
community service this week."
The cop is happy and leaves the shop.
The next morning when the barber goes to
open up there is a 'thank you' card and a
dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.
Later that day, a college professor comes in
for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill,
the barber again replies, "I cannot accept
money from you. I'm doing community service
this week. " The professor is very happy and
leaves the shop. The next morning when the
barber opens his shop, there is a 'thank you'
card and a dozen different books, such as
'How to Improve Your Business' and 'Becoming
More Successful.'
Then, a Congressman comes in for a haircut,
and when he goes to pay his bill the barber
again replies, "I cannot accept money from
you. I'm doing community service this week."
The Congressman is very happy and leaves the
shop. The next morning when the barber goes
to open up, there are a dozen Congressmen
lined up waiting for a free haircut!!
--And that, my friends, illustrates the
fundamental difference between the
PRODUCTIVE citizens of our country and
the members of our Congress--
Vote very carefully this year....
#####
EXECUTIVE SUMMARY
THE EXECUTIVE SUMMARY
I know that some of you don't like to read long
drawn out missives, so here's the executive
summary -- short, sweet and to the point!!
.....................................Congress... Military
John McCain ................26 Years.... 22 Years
Barack Obama.............. 143 Days.... 0 Days
Summary Concluded!
#####
I know that some of you don't like to read long
drawn out missives, so here's the executive
summary -- short, sweet and to the point!!
.....................................Congress... Military
John McCain ................26 Years.... 22 Years
Barack Obama.............. 143 Days.... 0 Days
Summary Concluded!
#####
WALKING EAGLE
WALKING EAGLE
'Walking Eagle' Senator BARACK OBAMA
was invited to address a major gathering of
the American Indian Nation two weeks ago
in upstate New York. He spoke for almost
an hour on his future plans for increasing
every Native American's present standard
of living, should he one day become the
President. He referred to his career as a
Senator, how he had signed 'YES' for every
Indian issue that came to his desk for
approval. Although the Senator was vague
on the details of his plan, he seemed most
enthusiastic about his future ideas for
helping his 'red sisters and brothers'.
At the conclusion of his speech, the
Tribes presented the Senator with a
plaque inscribed with his new Indian
name - "Walking Eagle".
The proud Senator then departed in his
motorcade, waving to the crowds.
A news reporter later inquired to the
group of chiefs of how they came to select
the new name given to the Senator.
They explained that "Walking Eagle"
is the name given to a bird so full of shit
it can no longer fly!!
#####
'Walking Eagle' Senator BARACK OBAMA
was invited to address a major gathering of
the American Indian Nation two weeks ago
in upstate New York. He spoke for almost
an hour on his future plans for increasing
every Native American's present standard
of living, should he one day become the
President. He referred to his career as a
Senator, how he had signed 'YES' for every
Indian issue that came to his desk for
approval. Although the Senator was vague
on the details of his plan, he seemed most
enthusiastic about his future ideas for
helping his 'red sisters and brothers'.
At the conclusion of his speech, the
Tribes presented the Senator with a
plaque inscribed with his new Indian
name - "Walking Eagle".
The proud Senator then departed in his
motorcade, waving to the crowds.
A news reporter later inquired to the
group of chiefs of how they came to select
the new name given to the Senator.
They explained that "Walking Eagle"
is the name given to a bird so full of shit
it can no longer fly!!
#####
Sunday, August 17, 2008
SOLVING AMERICA'S PROBLEMS
Everyone concentrates on the problems
we're having in this country lately;
illegal immigration, hurricane recovery,
alligators attacking people in Florida.
Not me. I concentrate on solutions for
the problems. It's a win-win situation.
Dig a moat the length of the Mexican border.
Send the dirt to New Orleans to raise the
level of the levies.
Put the Florida alligators in the moat along
the Mexican border.
Any OTHER problems you would like me
to solve today??
#####
we're having in this country lately;
illegal immigration, hurricane recovery,
alligators attacking people in Florida.
Not me. I concentrate on solutions for
the problems. It's a win-win situation.
Dig a moat the length of the Mexican border.
Send the dirt to New Orleans to raise the
level of the levies.
Put the Florida alligators in the moat along
the Mexican border.
Any OTHER problems you would like me
to solve today??
#####
BOO - BOOS
No need for me to say anything about this link that
was just sent to me!
Just listen and laugh.
(but if he is elected President, will we be laughing
then?)
Evidently, I’ve missed visiting some States in our
Country….
It's hard to believe this nut gets away with this stuff
and the media ignores it!!!!
Follow the link.....
http://election.newsmax.com/obama_jeopardy.html?s=al&promo_code=671B-1
#####
was just sent to me!
Just listen and laugh.
(but if he is elected President, will we be laughing
then?)
Evidently, I’ve missed visiting some States in our
Country….
It's hard to believe this nut gets away with this stuff
and the media ignores it!!!!
Follow the link.....
http://election.newsmax.com/obama_jeopardy.html?s=al&promo_code=671B-1
#####
Saturday, August 16, 2008
"SERVICE"
THE CONCEPT OF "SERVICE"
At one time in my life, I thought I had a handle
on the meaning of the word 'service.'
'It's the act of doing things for other people.'
Then I heard these terms which reference the
word SERVICE :
Internal Revenue Service
Postal Service
Telephone Service
Civil Service
City & County Public Service
Customer Service
Service Stations
Then I became confused about the word ' service .'
This is not what I thought 'service' meant. So today,
I overheard two farmers talking, and one of them
said he had hired a bull to 'service' a few of his cows.
BAM!! It all came into perspective. Now I understand
what all those 'service' agencies are doing to us!!
I hope you now are as enlightened as I am.
#####
At one time in my life, I thought I had a handle
on the meaning of the word 'service.'
'It's the act of doing things for other people.'
Then I heard these terms which reference the
word SERVICE :
Internal Revenue Service
Postal Service
Telephone Service
Civil Service
City & County Public Service
Customer Service
Service Stations
Then I became confused about the word ' service .'
This is not what I thought 'service' meant. So today,
I overheard two farmers talking, and one of them
said he had hired a bull to 'service' a few of his cows.
BAM!! It all came into perspective. Now I understand
what all those 'service' agencies are doing to us!!
I hope you now are as enlightened as I am.
#####
GRANNY'S THOUGHTS
Here's a quote from a government employee who
witnessed a recent interaction between an elderly
woman and an anti-war protesterin a Metro station
in DC: 'There were protesters on the train platform
handing out pamphlets on the evils of America.
I politely declined to take one. An elderly woman
was behind me getting off the escalator and a young
(20ish) female protester offered her apamphlet,
which she politely declined. The young protester
put her hand on the old woman's shoulder as a
gesture of friend ship and in a very soft voice said,
'Lady, don't you care about the children ofIraq?'
The old woman looked up at her and said,
'Honey, my father died in France during World
War II, I lost my husband in Korea, and a son in
Vietnam. All three died so you could have the
right to stand here and bad mouth our country.
And if you touch me again, I'll stick this umbrella
up your ass and pop it open!!'
#####
witnessed a recent interaction between an elderly
woman and an anti-war protesterin a Metro station
in DC: 'There were protesters on the train platform
handing out pamphlets on the evils of America.
I politely declined to take one. An elderly woman
was behind me getting off the escalator and a young
(20ish) female protester offered her apamphlet,
which she politely declined. The young protester
put her hand on the old woman's shoulder as a
gesture of friend ship and in a very soft voice said,
'Lady, don't you care about the children ofIraq?'
The old woman looked up at her and said,
'Honey, my father died in France during World
War II, I lost my husband in Korea, and a son in
Vietnam. All three died so you could have the
right to stand here and bad mouth our country.
And if you touch me again, I'll stick this umbrella
up your ass and pop it open!!'
#####
Friday, August 15, 2008
AN OBSERVATION
Add this to your hopper of considerations
when you go to vote!
Leave it to "Sir' Charles"....
Quote of the week from our esteemed friend
Sir Charles Barkley ( for those of you that
don't know, he's a former All American at
Auburn & basketball NBA All star......
and this one is on target!!
"poor people have been voting for Democrats
for the last 50 years........... and they are still
poor."
#####
when you go to vote!
Leave it to "Sir' Charles"....
Quote of the week from our esteemed friend
Sir Charles Barkley ( for those of you that
don't know, he's a former All American at
Auburn & basketball NBA All star......
and this one is on target!!
"poor people have been voting for Democrats
for the last 50 years........... and they are still
poor."
#####
Thursday, August 14, 2008
INTERESTING STATS
This is interesting.
Military Losses, 1980 thru 2006
Whatever your politics, however you lean,
however you feel about the current
administration, this report should open
some eyes.
Military losses, 1980 through 2006 > (http://www.fas.org/sgp/crs/natsec/RL32492.pdf) )
As tragic as the loss of any member of the U.S.
Armed Forces is, consider the following statistics:
The annual fatalities of military members while
actively serving in the armed forces from 1980
through 2006:
1980 .......... 2,392 (Carter Year)
1981 .......... 2,380 (Reagan Year)
1984 .......... 1,999 (Reagan Year)
1988 .......... 1,819 (Reagan Year)
1989 .......... 1,636 (George H W Year)
1990 .......... 1,508 (George H W Year)
1991 .......... 1,787 (George H W Year)
1992 .......... 1,293 (George H W Year)
1993 .......... 1,213 (Clinton Year)
1994 .......... 1,075 (Clinton Year)
1995 .......... 2,465 (Clinton Year)
1996 .......... 2,318 (Clinton Year)
1997 ............. 817 (Clinton Year)
1998 .......... 2,252 (Clinton Year)
1999 .......... 1,984 (Clinton Year)
2000 ..........1,983 (Clinton Year)
2001 ............. 890 (George W Year)
2002 .......... 1,007 (George W Year)
2003 .......... 1,410 (George W Year)
2004 .......... 1,887 (George W Year)
2005 ............. 919 (George W Year)
2006.............. 920 (George W Year)
2007.............. 899 (George W Year)
Clinton years (1993-2000): 14,107 deaths
George W years (2001-2006): 7,932 deaths
If you were surprised when you looked
at these figures, you are not alone.
These figures mean that the loss from
the two latest conflicts in the Middle East
are LESS than the loss of military personnel
during Bill Clinton's presidency;
when America wasn't even involved in a war!
Even more surprising is that in 1980, during
the reign of the (Nobel Peace Prize winning)
President Jimmy Carter, there were 2,392
U.S. military fatalities!
I think that these figures indicate that many
members of our Media and our Politicians
will pick and choose the information on
which they report.
Consider the latest census, of Americans.
It shows the following facts about the
distribution of American citizens, by Race:
European descent ..........................69.12% Hispanic .........................................12.5%
Black ..............................................12.3% Asian ............................................... 3.7%
Native American ...............................1.0% Other ................................................2.6%
Here are the fatalities by Race; over the past
three years in Iraq.
European descent (white) ............74.31% Hispanic ......................................10.74% Black ............................................ 9.67% Asian ............................................ 1.81%
Native American ........................... 1.09% Other ........................................... 0.33%
Surprised again. . . until it becomes clear
that the point here is that our mainstream
media continues to spin these figures for
political gain. Nothing more. It's about politics
and how politicians and political parties are
turning American against American for a vote.
The hope is, that during the time between
now and November, intelligent Americans can
decipher the facts from the spin and the
spinners from the leaders; those who seek even
more power from those that seek justice, the
dividers from the uniters. Over the next months
let's be good listeners and see and hear who tries
to divide our nation; and who wants to unite
our nation. Who wants to control how our money
is spent and who wants our money spent the
way we would spend it. Who seeks power and
who seeks justice? Who spins the facts and who
is genuine.
These statistics are published by Congressional
Research Service, and they may be confirmed
by anyone at:
http://www.fas.org/sgp/crs/natsec/RL32492.pdf_
#####
Military Losses, 1980 thru 2006
Whatever your politics, however you lean,
however you feel about the current
administration, this report should open
some eyes.
Military losses, 1980 through 2006 > (http://www.fas.org/sgp/crs/natsec/RL32492.pdf) )
As tragic as the loss of any member of the U.S.
Armed Forces is, consider the following statistics:
The annual fatalities of military members while
actively serving in the armed forces from 1980
through 2006:
1980 .......... 2,392 (Carter Year)
1981 .......... 2,380 (Reagan Year)
1984 .......... 1,999 (Reagan Year)
1988 .......... 1,819 (Reagan Year)
1989 .......... 1,636 (George H W Year)
1990 .......... 1,508 (George H W Year)
1991 .......... 1,787 (George H W Year)
1992 .......... 1,293 (George H W Year)
1993 .......... 1,213 (Clinton Year)
1994 .......... 1,075 (Clinton Year)
1995 .......... 2,465 (Clinton Year)
1996 .......... 2,318 (Clinton Year)
1997 ............. 817 (Clinton Year)
1998 .......... 2,252 (Clinton Year)
1999 .......... 1,984 (Clinton Year)
2000 ..........1,983 (Clinton Year)
2001 ............. 890 (George W Year)
2002 .......... 1,007 (George W Year)
2003 .......... 1,410 (George W Year)
2004 .......... 1,887 (George W Year)
2005 ............. 919 (George W Year)
2006.............. 920 (George W Year)
2007.............. 899 (George W Year)
Clinton years (1993-2000): 14,107 deaths
George W years (2001-2006): 7,932 deaths
If you were surprised when you looked
at these figures, you are not alone.
These figures mean that the loss from
the two latest conflicts in the Middle East
are LESS than the loss of military personnel
during Bill Clinton's presidency;
when America wasn't even involved in a war!
Even more surprising is that in 1980, during
the reign of the (Nobel Peace Prize winning)
President Jimmy Carter, there were 2,392
U.S. military fatalities!
I think that these figures indicate that many
members of our Media and our Politicians
will pick and choose the information on
which they report.
Consider the latest census, of Americans.
It shows the following facts about the
distribution of American citizens, by Race:
European descent ..........................69.12% Hispanic .........................................12.5%
Black ..............................................12.3% Asian ............................................... 3.7%
Native American ...............................1.0% Other ................................................2.6%
Here are the fatalities by Race; over the past
three years in Iraq.
European descent (white) ............74.31% Hispanic ......................................10.74% Black ............................................ 9.67% Asian ............................................ 1.81%
Native American ........................... 1.09% Other ........................................... 0.33%
Surprised again. . . until it becomes clear
that the point here is that our mainstream
media continues to spin these figures for
political gain. Nothing more. It's about politics
and how politicians and political parties are
turning American against American for a vote.
The hope is, that during the time between
now and November, intelligent Americans can
decipher the facts from the spin and the
spinners from the leaders; those who seek even
more power from those that seek justice, the
dividers from the uniters. Over the next months
let's be good listeners and see and hear who tries
to divide our nation; and who wants to unite
our nation. Who wants to control how our money
is spent and who wants our money spent the
way we would spend it. Who seeks power and
who seeks justice? Who spins the facts and who
is genuine.
These statistics are published by Congressional
Research Service, and they may be confirmed
by anyone at:
http://www.fas.org/sgp/crs/natsec/RL32492.pdf_
#####
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
WHY WE LOVED OL' HARRY
"The Buck Stops Here."
"It doesn't matter how big a ranch ya' own,
or how many cows ya' brand, the size of your
funeral is still gonna depend on the
weather." - Harry Truman. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After President Truman retired from office in
1953, he was left with an income consisting of
basically just a U.S. Army pension,reported
to have been only $13,507.72 a year.
Congress, noting that he was paying for his
stamps and personally licking them, granted
him an"allowance" and, later, a retroactive
pension of $25,000 per year.
When offered corporate positions at large
salaries, he declined, stating,
"You don't want me. You want the office
of the President, and that doesn't belong
to me. It belongs to the American people
and it's not for sale."
Even later, on May 6, 1971, when Congress
was preparing to award him the Medal of
Honor on his 87th birthday, he refused to
accept it, writing, "I don't consider that I
have done anything which should be the
reason for any award, Congressional or
otherwise."
We now see that other past presidents,
have found a new level of success in
cashing in on the presidency, resulting in
untold wealth. Today, many in Congress
also have found a way to become quite
wealthy while enjoying the fruits of their
offices. Obviously, political offices are now
for sale.
Good old Harry Truman could have been
correct when he observed, "My choice early
in life was either to be a piano player in a
whorehouse or a politician. And to tell the
truth, there's hardly any difference.
I, for one, believe the piano player job to
be much more honorable than current
politicians."
#####
"It doesn't matter how big a ranch ya' own,
or how many cows ya' brand, the size of your
funeral is still gonna depend on the
weather." - Harry Truman. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After President Truman retired from office in
1953, he was left with an income consisting of
basically just a U.S. Army pension,reported
to have been only $13,507.72 a year.
Congress, noting that he was paying for his
stamps and personally licking them, granted
him an"allowance" and, later, a retroactive
pension of $25,000 per year.
When offered corporate positions at large
salaries, he declined, stating,
"You don't want me. You want the office
of the President, and that doesn't belong
to me. It belongs to the American people
and it's not for sale."
Even later, on May 6, 1971, when Congress
was preparing to award him the Medal of
Honor on his 87th birthday, he refused to
accept it, writing, "I don't consider that I
have done anything which should be the
reason for any award, Congressional or
otherwise."
We now see that other past presidents,
have found a new level of success in
cashing in on the presidency, resulting in
untold wealth. Today, many in Congress
also have found a way to become quite
wealthy while enjoying the fruits of their
offices. Obviously, political offices are now
for sale.
Good old Harry Truman could have been
correct when he observed, "My choice early
in life was either to be a piano player in a
whorehouse or a politician. And to tell the
truth, there's hardly any difference.
I, for one, believe the piano player job to
be much more honorable than current
politicians."
#####
POLITICS 'SPLAINED.....
Whether Democrat or Republican, I think you'll get a kick out of this!
A little boy goes to his dad and asks, 'What is Politics?'
Dad says, 'Well son, let me try to explain it this way:
I am the head of the family, so call me The President.
Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Government.
We are here to take care of your needs, so we will call you the People.
The nanny, we will consider her the Working Class.
And your baby brother, we will call him the Future.
Now think about that and see if it makes sense.'
So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said.
Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him.
He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper.
So the little boy goes to his parent's room and finds his mother asleep.
Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny.
He gives up and goes back to bed.
The next morning, the little boy say's to his father, 'Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now.'
The father says, 'Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about.'
The little boy replies, 'The President is screwing the Working Class while the Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit!!
#####
A little boy goes to his dad and asks, 'What is Politics?'
Dad says, 'Well son, let me try to explain it this way:
I am the head of the family, so call me The President.
Your mother is the administrator of the money, so we call her the Government.
We are here to take care of your needs, so we will call you the People.
The nanny, we will consider her the Working Class.
And your baby brother, we will call him the Future.
Now think about that and see if it makes sense.'
So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said.
Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him.
He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper.
So the little boy goes to his parent's room and finds his mother asleep.
Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny.
He gives up and goes back to bed.
The next morning, the little boy say's to his father, 'Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now.'
The father says, 'Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about.'
The little boy replies, 'The President is screwing the Working Class while the Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit!!
#####
I'M RUNNING FOR PREZ
I HAVE DECIDED TO BECOME A WRITE-IN
CANDIDATE AND HERE IS MY PLATFORM:
(1) Press 1 for English is immediately banned.
English is the official language, speak it or wait
at the border until you can.
(2) We will immediately go into a two year
isolationist posture to straighten out the country's
attitude. NO imports, NO exports. We will use
the 'Wal-mart' policy of 'If we ain't got it, you
don't need it.'
(3) When imports are allowed, there will be a
100% import tax on it.
(4) All retired military personnel will be required
to man one of our many observation towers on
the southern border. (six month tour). They will
be under strict orders not to fire on
SOUTHBOUND aliens.
(5) Social security will immediately return to its
original state. If you didn't put nuttin in, you
ain't gettin nuttin out. The president nor any
other politician will not be able to touch it.
(6) Welfare - Checks will be handed out on
Fridays at the end of the 40 hour school week
and the successful completion of urinalysis
and a passing grade.
(7) Professional Athletes/Steroids - The FIRST
time you check positive, you're banned for life.
(it's SO simple, eh?)
(8) One export will be allowed, wheat, after all,
the world does need to eat. A bushel of wheat
will be the exact price of a barrel of oil.
(9) All foreign aid using American tax payer
money will immediately cease, and the saved
money will pay off the national debt and
ultimately lower taxes. When disasters occur
around the world, we'll ask the American
people if they want to donate to a disaster fund,
and each citizen can make the decision whether
it's a worthy cause. (and foreign countries can
help the U.S. when we have earthquakes,
hurricanes, tornados, etc.
(10) The Pledge ofAllegiance WILL be said every
day at school and every day in Congress.
The NationalAnthem will be played at all
appropriate ceremonies, sporting events,
outings, etc.
Sorry if I've stepped on anyone's toes but a
vote for me will get you better than what
you have, and better than what you're
gonna get!!
Thanks for listening, and remember to
write in my name on the ballot in November.
God bless America!!
Now -- who wants to be my VP ???
#####
CANDIDATE AND HERE IS MY PLATFORM:
(1) Press 1 for English is immediately banned.
English is the official language, speak it or wait
at the border until you can.
(2) We will immediately go into a two year
isolationist posture to straighten out the country's
attitude. NO imports, NO exports. We will use
the 'Wal-mart' policy of 'If we ain't got it, you
don't need it.'
(3) When imports are allowed, there will be a
100% import tax on it.
(4) All retired military personnel will be required
to man one of our many observation towers on
the southern border. (six month tour). They will
be under strict orders not to fire on
SOUTHBOUND aliens.
(5) Social security will immediately return to its
original state. If you didn't put nuttin in, you
ain't gettin nuttin out. The president nor any
other politician will not be able to touch it.
(6) Welfare - Checks will be handed out on
Fridays at the end of the 40 hour school week
and the successful completion of urinalysis
and a passing grade.
(7) Professional Athletes/Steroids - The FIRST
time you check positive, you're banned for life.
(it's SO simple, eh?)
(8) One export will be allowed, wheat, after all,
the world does need to eat. A bushel of wheat
will be the exact price of a barrel of oil.
(9) All foreign aid using American tax payer
money will immediately cease, and the saved
money will pay off the national debt and
ultimately lower taxes. When disasters occur
around the world, we'll ask the American
people if they want to donate to a disaster fund,
and each citizen can make the decision whether
it's a worthy cause. (and foreign countries can
help the U.S. when we have earthquakes,
hurricanes, tornados, etc.
(10) The Pledge ofAllegiance WILL be said every
day at school and every day in Congress.
The NationalAnthem will be played at all
appropriate ceremonies, sporting events,
outings, etc.
Sorry if I've stepped on anyone's toes but a
vote for me will get you better than what
you have, and better than what you're
gonna get!!
Thanks for listening, and remember to
write in my name on the ballot in November.
God bless America!!
Now -- who wants to be my VP ???
#####
Monday, August 11, 2008
CHICKEN THOUGHTS
Why did the chicken cross the road?
BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!
JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure - right from Day One! - that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
AL GORE: I invented the chicken.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.
OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.
JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay, too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side.' That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.
GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra.#@&&^(C%..........reboot.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!
JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.
HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure - right from Day One! - that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.
GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken?
AL GORE: I invented the chicken.
JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.
AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.
DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.
OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.
NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.
JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth? That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay, too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side.' That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as plain and as simple as that.
GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.
BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.
ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.
BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra.#@&&^(C%..........reboot.
ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?
COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
Sunday, August 10, 2008
RUNNING MATES
~ ~ HOT OFF THE PRESS ~ ~
BARRACK OBAMA HAS CHOSEN HIS RUNNING MATE.
IT WAS ANNOUNCED TODAY THAT HE HAS SELECTED
SYLVESTER STALLONE AS HIS CHOICE FOR
VICE PRESIDENT.
THEY WILL RUN AS "SAMBO AND RAMBO".
ALSO, HEARD THAT NANCY PELOSI IS GOING TO
BE SECRETARY OF STATE, SO IT WILL BE --
"SAMBO, RAMBO, AND BIMBO"!!
If you are not laughing now, there may be no hope for you.
#####
BARRACK OBAMA HAS CHOSEN HIS RUNNING MATE.
IT WAS ANNOUNCED TODAY THAT HE HAS SELECTED
SYLVESTER STALLONE AS HIS CHOICE FOR
VICE PRESIDENT.
THEY WILL RUN AS "SAMBO AND RAMBO".
ALSO, HEARD THAT NANCY PELOSI IS GOING TO
BE SECRETARY OF STATE, SO IT WILL BE --
"SAMBO, RAMBO, AND BIMBO"!!
If you are not laughing now, there may be no hope for you.
#####
Saturday, August 9, 2008
SOCIAL SECURITY
If there is anyone out there that doesn't know this, this is the best visual presentation I ever saw...
Now don't be mad at old people, just remember who did this when you vote....
Thank you for sharing Social Security,
How It Got Stolen with Our Social Security
Franklin Delano. Roosevelt
32nd. President, Democrat
Terms of Office March 4, 1933, to April 12, 1945
GOOD UP TO HERE.....
Franklin Delano. Roosevelt(Terms of Office March 4, 1933, to April 12, 1945), aDemocrat, introduced the Social Security (FICA) Program. He promised: ;
1.) That participation in the Program would be Completely voluntary,
2.) That the participants would only have to pay 1% of the first $1,400 of their annual Incomes into the Program,
3.) That the money the participants elected to put Into the Program would be deductible from Their income for tax purposes each year,
4.) That the money the participants put into the Independent 'Trust Fund' rather than into the General operating fund, and therefore, would Only be used to fund the Social Security Retirement Program, and no other Government program, and
5.) That the annuity payments to the retirees would never be taxed as income.
Since many of us have paidinto FICA for years and are now receiving a Social Security check every month -- and then finding that we are getting taxed on 85% of themoney we paid to the Fe deral government to 'Put Away' -- you may be interested in the following:
----------THEN---------------------------------------------------
Dwight David Eisenhower
34th. President, Republican,
Term Of Office: January 20, 1953 to January 20, 1961
Insert by Vincent Peter Render,
If I recall correctly, 1958is the first year thatCongress voted to remove funds from Social Security and put it into theGeneral Fund forCongress to spend.
If I recall correctly, it was a democraticallyControlled Congress.
From what I understand,Congress logic at that time was that there was so much money in Social Security Fund that it would never run out / be used up for the purpose it was intended / set aside for.
-------------WORSE STILL------------------------------------------------
Lyndon Baines Johnson36th. President, Democrat
Term Of Office: November 22, 1963 to January 20, 1969
Question: Which Political Party took Social Security from the Independent 'Trust Fund' and put it into the General Fund so thatCongress could spend it?
Answer: It was Lyndon B. Johnson (Democrat, Term Of Office: November 22, 1963 to January 20, 1969) and the democraticallyControlled House and Senate.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Question: Which Political Party eliminated the income tax Deduction for Social Security (FICA) withholding?
Answer: The Democratic Party.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
William Jefferson Clinton
(Bill Clinton)
42nd. President
Democrat Term of Office: January 20, 1993 to January 20, 2001
Albert Arnold Gore, Jr.
(Al Gore)
45th. Vice President
Democrat Term of Office: January 20, 1993 to January 20, 2001
Question: Which Political Party started taxing Social Security annuities?
Answer: The Democratic Party, with Albert Arnold Gore, Jr. (Al Gore) [Vice President Term of Office: January 20, 1993 to January 20, 2001] casting the 'tie-breaking' deciding vote as President of the Senate, while he was Vice President of the US
------------------THE STRAW THAT BROKE THE CAMEL'S BACK !!-------------------------------------------------
James Earl Carter, Jr(Jimmy Carter)
39th. President, Democrat
Term of Office: January 20, 1977 to January 20, 1981
Question: Which Political Party decided to start giving Annuitypayments to immigrants?
AND MY FAVORITE:
Answer: That's right! James Earl Carter, Jr. (Jimmy Carter) (Democrat, Term of Office: January 20, 1977 to January 20, 1981) and the Democratic Party.
Immigrants moved into this country, and at age 65, began to receive Social Securitypayments! The Democratic Partygave these payments to them,even though they never paid a dime into it!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Then, after violating the original contract (FICA), theDemocrats turn around and tell you that the Republicans want to take your Social Security away!
And the worst part about it is uninformed citizens believe it!
If enough people receive this, maybe a seed of Awareness will be planted and maybe changes will Evolve. Maybe not, some Democrats are awfully Sure of what isn't so.
But it's worth a try. How many people can YOU send this to?
Actions speak louder than bumper stickers.
AND CONGRESS GIVES THEMSELVES 100% RETIREMENT FOR ONLY SERVING ONE TERM!!!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Thomas Jefferson
3rd. President, Democrat
Term of Office: January 20, 1777 to January 20, 1781
A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have.
Thomas Jefferson
Now don't be mad at old people, just remember who did this when you vote....
Thank you for sharing Social Security,
How It Got Stolen with Our Social Security
Franklin Delano. Roosevelt
32nd. President, Democrat
Terms of Office March 4, 1933, to April 12, 1945
GOOD UP TO HERE.....
Franklin Delano. Roosevelt(Terms of Office March 4, 1933, to April 12, 1945), aDemocrat, introduced the Social Security (FICA) Program. He promised: ;
1.) That participation in the Program would be Completely voluntary,
2.) That the participants would only have to pay 1% of the first $1,400 of their annual Incomes into the Program,
3.) That the money the participants elected to put Into the Program would be deductible from Their income for tax purposes each year,
4.) That the money the participants put into the Independent 'Trust Fund' rather than into the General operating fund, and therefore, would Only be used to fund the Social Security Retirement Program, and no other Government program, and
5.) That the annuity payments to the retirees would never be taxed as income.
Since many of us have paidinto FICA for years and are now receiving a Social Security check every month -- and then finding that we are getting taxed on 85% of themoney we paid to the Fe deral government to 'Put Away' -- you may be interested in the following:
----------THEN---------------------------------------------------
Dwight David Eisenhower
34th. President, Republican,
Term Of Office: January 20, 1953 to January 20, 1961
Insert by Vincent Peter Render,
If I recall correctly, 1958is the first year thatCongress voted to remove funds from Social Security and put it into theGeneral Fund forCongress to spend.
If I recall correctly, it was a democraticallyControlled Congress.
From what I understand,Congress logic at that time was that there was so much money in Social Security Fund that it would never run out / be used up for the purpose it was intended / set aside for.
-------------WORSE STILL------------------------------------------------
Lyndon Baines Johnson36th. President, Democrat
Term Of Office: November 22, 1963 to January 20, 1969
Question: Which Political Party took Social Security from the Independent 'Trust Fund' and put it into the General Fund so thatCongress could spend it?
Answer: It was Lyndon B. Johnson (Democrat, Term Of Office: November 22, 1963 to January 20, 1969) and the democraticallyControlled House and Senate.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Question: Which Political Party eliminated the income tax Deduction for Social Security (FICA) withholding?
Answer: The Democratic Party.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
William Jefferson Clinton
(Bill Clinton)
42nd. President
Democrat Term of Office: January 20, 1993 to January 20, 2001
Albert Arnold Gore, Jr.
(Al Gore)
45th. Vice President
Democrat Term of Office: January 20, 1993 to January 20, 2001
Question: Which Political Party started taxing Social Security annuities?
Answer: The Democratic Party, with Albert Arnold Gore, Jr. (Al Gore) [Vice President Term of Office: January 20, 1993 to January 20, 2001] casting the 'tie-breaking' deciding vote as President of the Senate, while he was Vice President of the US
------------------THE STRAW THAT BROKE THE CAMEL'S BACK !!-------------------------------------------------
James Earl Carter, Jr(Jimmy Carter)
39th. President, Democrat
Term of Office: January 20, 1977 to January 20, 1981
Question: Which Political Party decided to start giving Annuitypayments to immigrants?
AND MY FAVORITE:
Answer: That's right! James Earl Carter, Jr. (Jimmy Carter) (Democrat, Term of Office: January 20, 1977 to January 20, 1981) and the Democratic Party.
Immigrants moved into this country, and at age 65, began to receive Social Securitypayments! The Democratic Partygave these payments to them,even though they never paid a dime into it!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Then, after violating the original contract (FICA), theDemocrats turn around and tell you that the Republicans want to take your Social Security away!
And the worst part about it is uninformed citizens believe it!
If enough people receive this, maybe a seed of Awareness will be planted and maybe changes will Evolve. Maybe not, some Democrats are awfully Sure of what isn't so.
But it's worth a try. How many people can YOU send this to?
Actions speak louder than bumper stickers.
AND CONGRESS GIVES THEMSELVES 100% RETIREMENT FOR ONLY SERVING ONE TERM!!!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Thomas Jefferson
3rd. President, Democrat
Term of Office: January 20, 1777 to January 20, 1781
A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have.
Thomas Jefferson
BUSINESS MERGERS
Investment tips for 2008
Maybe I shouldn't give you some of these, but here goes:
Investment tips for 2008 (for all of you with any money left),
be aware of the next expected mergers so that you can get
in on the ground floor and make some BIG bucks.
Watch for these consolidations in 2008.
1.) Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush,
and W. R. Grace Co. Will merge and become:
Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace.
2.) PolyGram Records, Warner Bros., and Zesta Crackers
join forces and become:
Poly, Warner Cracker.
3.) 3M will merge with Goodyear and become:
MMMGood.
4.) Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and
Dakota Mining will merge and become:
ZipAudiDoDa
5.) FedEx is expected to join its competitor, UPS, and
become:
FedUP.
6.) Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will
become:
Fairwell Honeychild.
7.) Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become:
PouponPants.
8.) Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization
of Women will become:
Knott NOW!
And finally.....
9.) Victoria 's Secret and Smith &Wesson will merge
under the new name:
TittyTittyBang Bang!!
#####
Maybe I shouldn't give you some of these, but here goes:
Investment tips for 2008 (for all of you with any money left),
be aware of the next expected mergers so that you can get
in on the ground floor and make some BIG bucks.
Watch for these consolidations in 2008.
1.) Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush,
and W. R. Grace Co. Will merge and become:
Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace.
2.) PolyGram Records, Warner Bros., and Zesta Crackers
join forces and become:
Poly, Warner Cracker.
3.) 3M will merge with Goodyear and become:
MMMGood.
4.) Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and
Dakota Mining will merge and become:
ZipAudiDoDa
5.) FedEx is expected to join its competitor, UPS, and
become:
FedUP.
6.) Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will
become:
Fairwell Honeychild.
7.) Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become:
PouponPants.
8.) Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization
of Women will become:
Knott NOW!
And finally.....
9.) Victoria 's Secret and Smith &Wesson will merge
under the new name:
TittyTittyBang Bang!!
#####
WHO'S THE BOSS??
Something to think about....
Dear Boss,
I have enjoyed working here these past
several years. You have paid me very well,
given me benefits beyond belief.
I have 3-4 months off per year and a
pension plan that will pay my salary till
the day I die and a health plan that most
people can only dream about.
Despite this I plan to take the next 12-18
months to find a new position.
During this time I will show up for work
when it is convenient -- FOR ME.
In addition I fully expect to draw my full
salary and all the other perks associated
with my current job.
Oh yeah, if my search for this new job
proves fruitless, I will be back with no
loss in pay or status.
Before you say anything, remember that
you have no choice in the matter.
I can -- and will -- do this!!
Sincerely,
Every Senator and Congressman
running for President.
Try that at your job and tell me how it works out!!
#####
(AND YOU PEOPLE KEEP ELECTING THE
SAME CREEPS TO OFFICE?????)
here's a new rule: NEVER vote for an incumbant!!
vote 'em out of office and teach them some manners!!!
Dear Boss,
I have enjoyed working here these past
several years. You have paid me very well,
given me benefits beyond belief.
I have 3-4 months off per year and a
pension plan that will pay my salary till
the day I die and a health plan that most
people can only dream about.
Despite this I plan to take the next 12-18
months to find a new position.
During this time I will show up for work
when it is convenient -- FOR ME.
In addition I fully expect to draw my full
salary and all the other perks associated
with my current job.
Oh yeah, if my search for this new job
proves fruitless, I will be back with no
loss in pay or status.
Before you say anything, remember that
you have no choice in the matter.
I can -- and will -- do this!!
Sincerely,
Every Senator and Congressman
running for President.
Try that at your job and tell me how it works out!!
#####
(AND YOU PEOPLE KEEP ELECTING THE
SAME CREEPS TO OFFICE?????)
here's a new rule: NEVER vote for an incumbant!!
vote 'em out of office and teach them some manners!!!
Friday, August 8, 2008
ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL
Barrack Obama's Campaign Worker Near
Fredericksburg , Texas
There is a large German-speaking population,
and a farmer was walking down a country
road and notices a man drinking from his
pond, with his hand.
The Amish farmer shouts: 'Trink das wasser
nicht. Die kuhen haben dahin gesheissen.'
Which means: 'Don't drink the water, the
cows have shit in it.'
The man shouts back: 'I'm from New York
and just down here campaigning for Obama,
I can't understand you. Please speak in
English.'
The Amish man says:
'Use two hands, you'll get more!!'
#####
Fredericksburg , Texas
There is a large German-speaking population,
and a farmer was walking down a country
road and notices a man drinking from his
pond, with his hand.
The Amish farmer shouts: 'Trink das wasser
nicht. Die kuhen haben dahin gesheissen.'
Which means: 'Don't drink the water, the
cows have shit in it.'
The man shouts back: 'I'm from New York
and just down here campaigning for Obama,
I can't understand you. Please speak in
English.'
The Amish man says:
'Use two hands, you'll get more!!'
#####
Thursday, August 7, 2008
THE URINE TEST
MY JOB AND THE URINE TEST
(I sure would like to know who wrote this one!
They deserve a HUGE pat on the back!)
I HAVE TO PASS A DRUG TEST FOR MY JOB...
AND I HAVE TO AGREE 100%
Like a lot of folks in this state, I have a job.. I work,
they pay me. I pay my taxes and the government
distributes my taxes as it sees fit. But in order to get
that paycheck, I am required to pass a random
urine test with which I have no problem.
What I DO have a problem with is the distribution
of my taxes to people who don't have to pass a
urine test. Shouldn't one have to pass a urine test
to get a welfare check because I have to pass one
to earn it for them? Please understand, I have no
problem with helping people get back on their feet.
I do, on the other hand, have a problem with
helping someone sitting on their A$$, doing drugs,
while I work!!
Can you imagine how much money the state
would save if people had to pass a urine test to
get a public assistance check?
Pass this one along if you agree!!
Something has to change in this country --
and soon!
#####
(I sure would like to know who wrote this one!
They deserve a HUGE pat on the back!)
I HAVE TO PASS A DRUG TEST FOR MY JOB...
AND I HAVE TO AGREE 100%
Like a lot of folks in this state, I have a job.. I work,
they pay me. I pay my taxes and the government
distributes my taxes as it sees fit. But in order to get
that paycheck, I am required to pass a random
urine test with which I have no problem.
What I DO have a problem with is the distribution
of my taxes to people who don't have to pass a
urine test. Shouldn't one have to pass a urine test
to get a welfare check because I have to pass one
to earn it for them? Please understand, I have no
problem with helping people get back on their feet.
I do, on the other hand, have a problem with
helping someone sitting on their A$$, doing drugs,
while I work!!
Can you imagine how much money the state
would save if people had to pass a urine test to
get a public assistance check?
Pass this one along if you agree!!
Something has to change in this country --
and soon!
#####
IS THERE EVEN A QUESTION HERE??
An email from Ireland to all of their brethren in the States...
a point to ponder despite your political affiliation:
We, in Ireland, can't figure out why you people are even
bothering to hold an election in the United States.
On one side, you had a pants wearing female lawyer,
married to another lawyer who can't seem to keep
his pants on, who just lost a long and heated primary
campaign against a lawyer, who goes to the wrong
church, who is married to yet another lawyer, who
doesn't seem to even like the country her husband
wants to run!!
Now...On the other side, you have a nice old war
hero whose name starts with the appropriate
'Mc-' terminology, married to a good looking younger
woman who owns a beer distributorship!!
What in God's name are ya lads thinkin over in the
colonies!
IS THERE EVEN A QUESTION HERE????
#####
a point to ponder despite your political affiliation:
We, in Ireland, can't figure out why you people are even
bothering to hold an election in the United States.
On one side, you had a pants wearing female lawyer,
married to another lawyer who can't seem to keep
his pants on, who just lost a long and heated primary
campaign against a lawyer, who goes to the wrong
church, who is married to yet another lawyer, who
doesn't seem to even like the country her husband
wants to run!!
Now...On the other side, you have a nice old war
hero whose name starts with the appropriate
'Mc-' terminology, married to a good looking younger
woman who owns a beer distributorship!!
What in God's name are ya lads thinkin over in the
colonies!
IS THERE EVEN A QUESTION HERE????
#####
RUT ROH......
An elderly couple was attending church services,
about halfway through she leans over and says
to her husband,
"I just let out a silent fart, what do you think
I should do?"
He replies "Put a new battery in your hearing
aid!!"
#####
about halfway through she leans over and says
to her husband,
"I just let out a silent fart, what do you think
I should do?"
He replies "Put a new battery in your hearing
aid!!"
#####
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
VICE PRESIDENT SELECTION
~ ~ HOT OFF THE PRESS!!
(by E-mail)
BARRACK OBAMA HAS CHOSEN HIS RUNNING MATE.
IT WAS ANNOUNCED TODAY THAT HE HAS SELECTED
SYLVESTER STALLONE AS HIS CHOICE FOR VICE
PRESIDENT.
THEY WILL RUN AS "SAMBO AND RAMBO"!!
ALSO HEARD, THAT NANCY PELOSI IS GOING TO BE
SECRETARY OF STATE, SO IT WILL BE --
"SAMBO, RAMBO, AND BIMBO"!!
#####
(by E-mail)
BARRACK OBAMA HAS CHOSEN HIS RUNNING MATE.
IT WAS ANNOUNCED TODAY THAT HE HAS SELECTED
SYLVESTER STALLONE AS HIS CHOICE FOR VICE
PRESIDENT.
THEY WILL RUN AS "SAMBO AND RAMBO"!!
ALSO HEARD, THAT NANCY PELOSI IS GOING TO BE
SECRETARY OF STATE, SO IT WILL BE --
"SAMBO, RAMBO, AND BIMBO"!!
#####
WHAT PROBLEM??
Everyone concentrates on the problems we're
having in this country lately:
illegal immigration, hurricane recovery,
alligators attacking people.
Not me. I concentrate on solutions for the
problems. It's a win-win situation.
Dig a moat the length of the Mexican border.
Send the dirt to New Orleans to raise the
level of the levies.
Put the Florida alligators in the moat along
the Mexican border.
Any other problems you would like for me
to solve today?
Yes! Think about these:
1. Cows
2. The Constitution
3. The Ten Commandments
C O W S
Is it just me, or does anyone else find it
amazing that during the mad cow epidemic
our government could track a single cow,
born in Canada almost three years ago,
right to the stall where she slept in the
state of Washington?
And, they tracked her calves to their stalls.
But they are unable to locate 11 million
illegal aliens wandering around our country!!
Maybe we should give each of them a cow?
T H E C O N S T I T U T I O N
They keep talking about drafting a
Constitution for Iraq. Why don't we just give
them ours? It was written by a lot of really
smart guys, it has worked for over 200 years,
and WE'RE not using it anymore....
T H E 1 0 C O M M A N D M E N T S
The real reason that we can't have the
Ten Commandments posted in a courthouse
is very simple:
You cannot post 'Thou Shalt Not Steal,'
'Thou Shalt Not CommitAdultery,'
and 'Thou Shalt Not Lie' in a building
full of lawyers, judges and politicians.....
it creates a hostile work environment!!
PART OF THE PROBLEM
Also, think about this: If you don't want
to forward this for fear of offending
someone - YOU ARE PART OF THE
PROBLEM!
Isn't it time for America to speak up?
#####
having in this country lately:
illegal immigration, hurricane recovery,
alligators attacking people.
Not me. I concentrate on solutions for the
problems. It's a win-win situation.
Dig a moat the length of the Mexican border.
Send the dirt to New Orleans to raise the
level of the levies.
Put the Florida alligators in the moat along
the Mexican border.
Any other problems you would like for me
to solve today?
Yes! Think about these:
1. Cows
2. The Constitution
3. The Ten Commandments
C O W S
Is it just me, or does anyone else find it
amazing that during the mad cow epidemic
our government could track a single cow,
born in Canada almost three years ago,
right to the stall where she slept in the
state of Washington?
And, they tracked her calves to their stalls.
But they are unable to locate 11 million
illegal aliens wandering around our country!!
Maybe we should give each of them a cow?
T H E C O N S T I T U T I O N
They keep talking about drafting a
Constitution for Iraq. Why don't we just give
them ours? It was written by a lot of really
smart guys, it has worked for over 200 years,
and WE'RE not using it anymore....
T H E 1 0 C O M M A N D M E N T S
The real reason that we can't have the
Ten Commandments posted in a courthouse
is very simple:
You cannot post 'Thou Shalt Not Steal,'
'Thou Shalt Not CommitAdultery,'
and 'Thou Shalt Not Lie' in a building
full of lawyers, judges and politicians.....
it creates a hostile work environment!!
PART OF THE PROBLEM
Also, think about this: If you don't want
to forward this for fear of offending
someone - YOU ARE PART OF THE
PROBLEM!
Isn't it time for America to speak up?
#####
PATRIOTIC DUTY
As you may already know, it is a sin for
a Muslim male to see any woman other
than his wife naked. He must commit
suicide if he does. So next Saturday at
4 PM Eastern Time, all American women
are asked to walk out of their house
completely naked to help weed out any
neighborhood terrorists.
Circling your block for one hour is
recommended for this anti-terrorist effort.
All patriotic men are to position
themselves in lawn chairs in front of
their house to prove they are not Muslims,
and to demonstrate they think it's okay
to see nude women other than their wife,
and to show support for all American women.
Since Islam also does not approve of alcohol,
a cold 6-pack at your side is further proof
of your anti-terrorist sentiment.
The American government appreciates your
efforts to root out terrorists and applauds
your participation in this anti-terrorist
activity. God Bless America!!
It is your patriotic duty to pass this on.
If you don't send this to at least 5 people
you're a terrorist sympathizing lily-livered
coward and are in the position of posing
a national threat!!
#####
a Muslim male to see any woman other
than his wife naked. He must commit
suicide if he does. So next Saturday at
4 PM Eastern Time, all American women
are asked to walk out of their house
completely naked to help weed out any
neighborhood terrorists.
Circling your block for one hour is
recommended for this anti-terrorist effort.
All patriotic men are to position
themselves in lawn chairs in front of
their house to prove they are not Muslims,
and to demonstrate they think it's okay
to see nude women other than their wife,
and to show support for all American women.
Since Islam also does not approve of alcohol,
a cold 6-pack at your side is further proof
of your anti-terrorist sentiment.
The American government appreciates your
efforts to root out terrorists and applauds
your participation in this anti-terrorist
activity. God Bless America!!
It is your patriotic duty to pass this on.
If you don't send this to at least 5 people
you're a terrorist sympathizing lily-livered
coward and are in the position of posing
a national threat!!
#####
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