GOVERNMENT HELP

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his
herd in a remote mountainous pasture in
California when suddenly a brand-new
BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards
him.
The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit,
Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses and YSL
tie, leans out the window and asks the
cowboy,
"If I tell you exactly how many cows and
calves you have in your herd, will you give
me a calf?"
Bud looks at the man, obviously a yuppie,
then looks at his peacefully grazing herd
and calmly answers,
"Sure, Why not?"
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell
notebook computer,connects it to his Cingular
RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page
on the internet, where he calls up a GPS
satellite to get an exact fix on his location which
he then feeds to another NASA satellite that
scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution
photo. The young man then opens the digital
photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to
an image processing facility in Hamburg,
Germany.
Within seconds, he receives an email on his
Palm Pilot that the image has been processed
and the data stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL
database through an ODBC connected Excel
spreadsheet with e-mail on his Blackberry and,
after a few minutes, receives a response.
Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page
report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet
printer and finally turns to the cowboy and says,
"You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."
"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of
my calves," says Bud.
He watches the young man select one of the
animals and looks on amused as the young man
stuffs it into the trunk of his car.
Then Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can
tell you exactly what your business is, will you
give me back my calf?"
The young man thinks about it for a second and
then says, "Okay, why not?"
"You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government",
says Bud.
"Wow! That's correct, " says the yuppie, "but how
did you guess that?"
"No guessing required." answered the cowboy.
"You showed up here even though nobody called
you; you want to get paid for an answer I already
knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to
show me how much smarter you are than i am,
and you don't know a thing about cows...
this is a herd of sheep. . . Now give me back my
dog!!"
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