LINKS

HERE IS A FINE LINK:

www.MySpace.com/HigherCodes

REMEMBER RR ?

'Here's my strategy on the Cold War:
We win, they lose.'- Ronald Reagan

'The most terrifying words in the English language are:
I'm from the government and I'm here to help.' - Ronald Reagan

'The trouble with our liberal friends is not that they're ignorant;
it's just that they know so much that isn't so.' - Ronald Reagan

'Of the four wars in my lifetime, none came about because the
U.S. was too strong.'- Ronald Reagan

'I have wondered at times about what the Ten Commandments
would have looked like if Moses had run them through
the U.S. Congress.' - Ronald Reagan

'The taxpayer: That's someone who works for the federal government
but doesn't have to take the civil service examination.' - Ronald Reagan

'Government is like a baby: An alimentary canal with a big appetite
at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other.'- Ronald Reagan

'The nearest thing to eternal life we will ever see on this earth
is a government program.' - Ronald Reagan

'It has been said that politics is the second oldest profession. I have
learned that it bears a striking resemblance to the first.' - Ronald Reagan

'Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few
short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it.
And if it stops moving, subsidize it' - Ronald Reagan

'Politics is not a bad profession. If you succeed, there are many
rewards; if you disgrace yourself, you can always write a book.'
- Ronald Reagan

'No arsenal, or no weapon in the arsenals of the world, is as
formidable as the will and moral courage of free men and women.'
- Ronald Reagan

'If we ever forget that we're one nation under God,
then we will be a nation gone under.'- Ronald Reagan

A SATISFIED TAXPAYER

A Satisfied Taxpayer
=====================

Dear Internal Revenue Service:

On this April 15th tax return due date you will find enclosed my
2008 tax return showing that I owe $3,407.00 in taxes.

Please note the attached article from the USA Today newspaper,
dated 12 November, wherein you will see the Pentagon (Department
of Defense) is paying $171.50 per hammer and NASA has paid
$600.00 per toilet seat.

I am enclosing four (4) toilet seats (valued @ $2,400) and
six (6) hammers (valued @ $1,029), which I secured at Home Depot,
bringing my total remittance to $3,429.00. Please apply the
overpayment of $22.00 to the "Presidential Election Fund," as
noted on my return.

You can do this inexpensively by sending them one (1) 1.5 inch
Phillips Head screw (see aforementioned article from USA Today
newspaper detailing how H.U.D. pays $22.00 each for 1.5 inch
Phillips Head Screws). One screw is enclosed for your
convenience.

To recap my enclosures:
Four toilet seats
Six hammers
and
One screw

It has been a pleasure to pay my tax bill this year, and I look
forward to paying it again next year.

Sincerely,
A Satisfied Taxpayer

AMERICAN EDUCATION 1957 vs. 2007

HIGH SCHOOL -- 1957 vs. 2007
Scenario 1:
Jack goes quail hunting before school and then pulls into the school parking lot with his shotgun in his truck's gun rack.
1957 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.
2007 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.

Scenario 2:
Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school.
1957 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.
2007 - Police called and SWAT team arrives -- they arrest both Johnny and Mark. They are both charged them with assault and both expelled even though Johnny started it.

Scenario 3:
Jeffrey will not be still in class, he disrupts other students.
1957 - Jeffrey sent to the Principal's office and given a good paddling by the Principal. He then returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.
2007 - Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin. He becomes a zombie. He is then tested for ADD. The school gets extra money from the state because Jeffrey has a disability.

Scenario 4:
Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.
1957 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college and becomes a successful businessman.
2007 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is removed to foster care and joins a gang. The state psychologist is told by Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has an affair with the psychologist.

Scenario 5:
Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.
1957 - Mark shares his aspirin with the Principal out on the smoking dock.
2007 - The police are called and Mark is expelled from school for drug violations. His car is then searched for drugs and weapons.

Scenario 6:
Pedro fails high school English.
1957 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English and goes to college.
2007 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against the state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English is then banned from core curriculum. Pedro is given his diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.

Scenario 7:
Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from the Fourth of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle and blows up a red ant bed.
1957 - Ants die.
2007 - ATF, Homeland Security and the FBI are all called. Johnny is charged with domestic terrorism. The FBI investigates his parents -- and all siblings are removed from their home and all computers are confiscated. Johnny's dad is placed on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

Scenario 8:
Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.
1957 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
2007 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.

This should hit every email inbox to show how stupid we have become!!
AMEN TO THAT !!!!

A TEXAS STORY

A man is sitting in a bar far from home when
Barack Obama comes on TV.
The man looks at the TV and says, "Obama is a
horse's ass."
Out of nowhere, a local jumps up and punches
him in the face, knocking the first guy off his bar stool,
then stomps out.
He gets up, rubbing his cheek and orders another beer.
Shortly after, Michelle Obama appears on the TV.
He looks at the TV and says, "She is a horse's ass too!"
Out of nowhere, another local punches him on the other
side of the face, knocking him off his bar stool again.
He gets back up and looks at the bartender,
"I take it this is Obama country?"
"Nope." replies the bartender. "This is Horse country!!"
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NEW STRATEGY IN IRAQ

The Pentagon announced TODAY the formation
of a new 500-man elite fighting unit called the
United States Redneck Special Forces (USRSF).

These mostly Southern boys will be dropped off
into Iraq and will be given only the following facts
about terrorists:

1. The season opened today.
2. There is no limit.
3. They don't like beer, pickups, country music, or Jesus.
4. They are directly responsible for the death of Dale Earnhardt.

The Pentagon expects the problem in Iraq to be over
by Saturday.
Applications are available at your local
Wal-Mart sporting goods counter.
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POLICE DO CARE

Body found in the River......
Grass Valley Police Department reports finding a
man's body in the Yuba river just west of the
Edwards Xing Bridge .
The dead man's name will not be released until
his family has been notified. The victim apparently
drowned due to excessive beer consumption.
He was wearing black fishnet stockings, a red garter
belt, a strap-on dildo, and a Republican Tee-shirt.
He also had a cucumber stuffed up his ass.
The police removed the Republican Tee-shirt to
spare his family any unnecessary embarrassment.
Police do care!!
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THE GREAT SYSTEM

An economics professor at Texas Tech said he had
never failed a single student before but had once failed
an entire class.
The class had insisted that socialism worked and that
no one would be poor and no one would be rich, thus a
great equalizer.
The professor then said okay, we will have an experiment
in this class on socialism. All grades would be averaged
and everyone would receive the same grade so no one
would fail and no one would receive an A.
After the first test, the grades were averaged and everyone
got a B. The students who studied hard were upset, and
the students who studied little were happy.
But, as the second test rolled around, the students who
studied little had studied even less and the ones who
studied hard decided they wanted a free ride too,
so they studied very little. The second test average was a D!!
No one was happy. When the third test rolled around,
the average was an F. The scores never increased as
bickering, blame and name-calling all resulted in hard
feelings and no one would study for anyone else.
All failed, to their great surprise. And the professor
told them that socialism would ultimately fail because
the harder to succeed, the greater the reward, but when
a government takes all the reward away, no one will
try OR succeed.....
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FLYING PIGS

It was often said that a black man would be
elected President when pigs flew.

Well behold, just 100 days into Barack Obama's
Presidency.... and SWINE FLU!

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